This shows us that you are more greater by going back and fulfilling a mitzvah, because you are required to, than if you are just doing it for the goodness of your heart…as the laws state above.

Mazal tov for doing the right thing, no matter what brought you there (or back rather.)

See, that’s why I do believe (theoretically, at least) that we are supposed to just be who we want and believe we should be and we cannot worry about what others think of us. Sometimes it can help us grow but I’d think that more often than not, it can inhibit our growth, the stress of trying to consider what others might think or do think.

I once heard a gay guy talking about how he feels like he always has to be on his best behavior because everyone is judging all gays according to how he acts. If he does something not nice, people will say, “See? That is what gays do.” But though he should try to act like a decent person, is it his job to represent all gays? It may be like that to a certain extent because we do generalize according to examples we see, but that pressure shouldn’t be on him, don’t you think?

At the same time, we do know that this exists – that people generalize like that – so I suppose we need to keep it in mind. Whatever my theories, I definitely have that in mind most, or all, of the time.

Shabbat Shalom.

As for wearing a kippah, I choose not to wear one for the following reasons. I am studying in a rural town where, to my knowledge, I am the only Jewish student. As for background information, I don’t celebrate the Sabbath, nor do I pray three times a day. I do keep kosher, but that is because I am a vegetarian. For most people in my town, I will be their sole chance of interaction with a Jew. This could result in the general public stereotyping my personal actions/behaviors as general character traits of all Jews.

Just how Deena discussed about a “chillul Hashem,” people might associate myself on those same terms. I am proud of being Jewish, but I fear that when people pass by me, instead of learning about my Jewish morals and beliefs (which takes time and the process of actually having an in-depth conversation with me), they will equate myself and all Jews as being completely secular, completely materialistic to the point where we only can be identified by the kippahs and jewelry which we wear. And that is not the message I want to portray. Anyone can easily buy a Jewish star necklace off Ebay. It is much more difficult to study and embrace the principles of “how to live a meaningful life,” which are prescribed in the Tanach.

An example that comes to mind is that after a student completes his second chemistry course, he is given a standardized test which is given to most chemistry public-school students across the nation. The test covers a wide variety of topics, ranging from nomenclature to chemical properties. One of the topics on the exam is organic chemistry, a topic which my brother’s class was taught nothing about. My brother calls me at 11 o’clock the night before the exam and asks, ” What is there to know about organic chemistry?” I told him that there isn’t a ‘magical five-minute -all-encompassing answer’ to his question, and he would probably do better on the test if he reviewed things he was actually taught. In college, the topic of organic chemistry is taught in a curriculum of two semesters, not five minutes. And I think the same rule applies to others understanding Judaism. They’ll see my outward appearance, and feel satisfied with the superficial answer that there isn’t anything really special associated to Judaism, just a guy who has to wear this funny hat-thingy. By viewing myself and Judaism in these terms, they miss the deeper and truer answer. So until I learn how to speak really quickly, I think I will pass on wearing a kippah.

-Zachary

–
I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life!

(Deut. 30:19)

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

-Fight Club

I felt so dumb for not asking to talk to her directly and I just hoped that he would tell her why I had come back.

Why didn’t I ask to talk to her? Because I felt like it would prove that I was doing it just for the kavod rather than just because it was a good thing to do. In retrospect, that is such bs. Oh well.

One thing…You did not share with us what their reaction was.

I just, as you probably have noticed, don’t want to be doing something for the wrong reason. Even though my #7 (well, this post) is about how in Judaism the intent isn’t the most important thing, I guess I’m hypocritical because I want the proper intent. I don’t want to do things because of societal pressure or other not meaningful reasons. I want to do it (it meaning anything I choose to do, I guess) because I choose to do it because I think it’s good to do.

Maybe I’m asking for too much. I know that you cannot be totally disconnected from society. I also know that some society pressure can be good once in a while. I guess I just like to try, as much as possible, to be doing things not from pressure but because I decide it’s what I want to do.

P.S. I spilled tea all over the table right before my friend and I left the sushi place, btw. I think that afterwards, thinking about the woman going to clean up my mess triggered the thought, “Shoot, and I didn’t even give her a tip!” Just thought I’d share that with you.

Wearing a kippah, and in Deena’s case…her star of David, can only make us stronger Jews.

By wearing these symbols, we acknowledge what Hashem has given to us, to remind us, who we are and what we stand for.

In addition, I am not sure in matters why you went back. The important thing is that you went back and did the right thing. I think it is important to lead by example and that was a good example.

@Aharon – I started wearing my Kippah 3 years ago. I wear it everywhere except when I am doing yard work. It does me pay attention to what I am doing as a Jew. I know that is the first thing most people see and so whatever I do is seen in that light. This is especially true where I live. I usually only see kippahs in the synagogue.